Author: barbaramcox

I am the author of The Step-Father’s Step-Son. The book is available through Family Matters Publishing at www.stepfathersstepson.com and Amazon.com. The book covers subjects such as: adultery, family, relationships, and parenting. The book is written primarily for the first family and the children of the parents of the first family.

Secrets

Matthew 10: 26, “Fear them not therefore: for there is nothing covered, that shall not be revealed; and hid, that shall not be known.”

Matthew 10:34, “Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.”

First of all, God knows everything about us – even the number hairs on our head. So we can also know that he knows about all of our secrets. This is the reason that he said, “Repent for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.” What we believe and don’t believe is what divides us. It is not a physical sword that he is talking about here. The truth does set us free, but if we reject the truth we will be divided. Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life. We must trust in him enough to believe that what he said is true. He is the Son of God.

Don’t be afraid to repent

Matthew 9:12-13, “They that be whole need not a physician, but they that are sick. But go ye and learn what that meaneth, I shall have mercy, and not sacrifice: for I am not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.”

 

Repentance should not be painful or punished. In cultures where repentance is punished, the heart of the sinner gets harder. Repentance is the way that we clean ourselves and get in touch with our souls. This is the reason Jesus said, “Repent for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.” Our soul is the kingdom of heaven and God is our Father. We must never discourage repentance or reward it with punishment. We also may have to forgive seven times seventy. That is true love.

Lawsuits

If someone sues us we are supposed to give them more than what they demanded with a lawyer. Don’t be like them and use a lawyer yourself. These people are the children of men and believe that money and property are the way to right a wrong rather than forgiveness and working things out between them. And as always, they have their reward – a physical reward which is their immediate personal gratification rather than waiting for their reward which is in heaven. A lawsuit has nothing to do with love. Furthermore, it is impossible to govern love or family with “laws” and lawyers. Love is a personal individual responsibility handed down to us by our Father which is in heaven. Just as Jesus had no place to lay his head, so too did my husband let his step-parents and half-brothers and sisters get almost everything. He did not fight for anything with a lawyer. My husband did the right thing.

Matthew 5:40-45, “And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloke also. And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile; go with him twain. Give to him that asketh thee and from him that would borrow of thee turn not away. Ye have heard that it hath been said , Thou shalt love thy neighbor, and hate thine enemy, But I say unto you, love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you. That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven; for he maketh the sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the on the just and on the unjust.”

The Problem of Homelessness

Jesus said in Matthew 8:20, “The foxes have holes, and the birds of the air have nests; but the Son of man hath not where to lay his head.” How could it have been that Jesus himself was homeless? First of all, family law was similar to ours so I think that when Joseph, Jesus’ step-father died, most if not all of the family property went to Jesus’ half brothers and sisters just as it happened in my husband’s family. None of Jesus’ half-brothers believed in him, so it is safe to assume that there was animosity and division within Jesus’ family. I wonder how many of our parents have given up after their spouse left them for someone else? I wonder how many of our children of the first family are homeless and on drugs or alcohol because their parents have abandoned them for another person. I know of one young man that killed himself after his spouse divorced him and moved on. You know why I know – it is because I tried to help save him from the wreckage. Is a second wife or a second husband really that important and for that matter so important that we think that we can abandon our first family? If they are that important to us something is gravely wrong. None of this has to do with love. It is about selfishness, greed, and a host of other sins against our first family. Our children have nowhere to turn. Our laws, their parents, and step-parents are working against them. Jesus had no earthly father to protect him. My husband had no earthly father either because his father was with another woman and the children that he had with her. He never called my husband, “Son”.

The Problem of Homelessness

Jesus said in Matthew 8:20, “The foxes have holes, and the birds of the air have nests; but the Son of man hath not where to lay his head.” How could it have been that Jesus himself was homeless? First of all, family law was similar to ours so I think that when Joseph, Jesus’ step-father died, most if not all of the family property went to Jesus’ half brothers and sisters just as it happened in my husband’s family. None of Jesus’ half-brothers believed in him, so it is safe to assume that there was animosity and division within Jesus’ family. I wonder how many of our parents have given up after their spouse left them for someone else? I wonder how many of our children of the first family are homeless and on drugs or alcohol because their parents have abandoned them for another person. I know of one young man that killed himself after his spouse divorced him and moved on. You know why I know – it is because I tried to help save him from the wreckage. Is a second wife or a second husband really that important and for that matter so important that we think that we can abandon our first family? If they are that important to us something is gravely wrong. None of this has to do with love. It is about selfishness, greed, and a host of other sins against our first family. Our children have nowhere to turn. Our laws, their parents, and step-parents are working against them. Jesus had no earthly father to protect him. My husband had no earthly father either because his father was with another woman and the children that he had with her. He never called my husband, “Son”.

Tight and Rigid

Jesus is the new wine and new cloth, but most of us are old wineskins and old cloth. In order for us to become “new”, we must give up the old laws/rules that enclose us, bind us, and keep us from growing. Love is big. Love grows. But genuine love applies to whole families and not parts of our family. It is not about the tight skin of the old law – the one that says that we can only love the one that we are with. Our calling is to love our entire family, but most especially our spouses and children from the first family. Our first family must come first or our family will be broken. All of our children need their fathers and their mothers. Second wives and second husbands must never be first in our life. Don’t ever move in with them and don’t cheat to get one either.
 
Jesus spoke about old wineskins and new wineskins. He said in Luke 5:33-37, “And they said unto him, Why do the disciples of John fast often, and make prayer, and likewise the disciples of the Pharisees; but thine eat and drink?, And he said unto them, “Can ye make the children of the bridechamber fast, while the bridegroom is with them? But the days will come, when the bridegroom shall be taken away from them, and then shall they fast in those days.” And he spake also a parable unto them, “No man putteth a piece of a new garment upon an old; if otherwise then both the new maketh a rent, and the piece that was taken out of the new agreeth not with the old. And no man putteth new wine into old bottles; else the new wine will burst the bottles, and be spilled, and the bottles shall perish. But new wine must be put into new bottles; and both are preserved. No man also having drunk old wine straightway desireth new for he saith, “The old is better.””.