Ready, set, go!

Putting a family back together may seem complicated but actually it is very simple. It requires a bit of a shuffle, but the most important ingredients are love, repentance, and forgiveness!

Jacob said that the gathering of the people would be done this way for Judah’s people. “…unto him shall the gathering of the people be. Binding his foal unto the vine, and his ass’s colt unto the choice vine…”. (Genesis 49: 10-11)

Step 1: “Binding the foal unto the vine…” The foal is a new born that is younger than a colt, with the children of the first family being older. The vine is the family. The vine starts with the first family. So, it means for the man to bring the children of the second family to the first family – the first wife and her children with him.

Step 2: “and his ass’s colt unto the choice vine…” The ass’s colt is the firstborn child of the first wife. This child is carrying a heavy burden because of the sacrifices required in order for the second family to be first – the opposite of a normal family. This is the reason that he used the word “ass”. The father in many cases is the “ass”that created this mess and carries most of the responsibility. Together the man and his first wife left up this firstborn child to the primary leadership position within their family. It is the same position that would have been the child’s natural position had the ass not moved in with and married another person.

(A man is never ever supposed to marry a divorced woman. For this reason, a second husband and his children with the child’s mother remain on the side lines.)

“But many that are first shall be last; and the last shall be first.” (Matthew 19:30) Where there is adultery, the first family becomes last and the second family becomes first. We must not let the unnatural family appear as the natural family! Save the first family by putting the family back into its natural order!

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I am the author of The Step-Father’s Step-Son. The book is available through Family Matters Publishing at and The book covers subjects such as: adultery, family, relationships, and parenting. The book is written primarily for the first family and the children of the parents of the first family.