Author: barbaramcox

I am the author of The Step-Father’s Step-Son. The book is available through Family Matters Publishing at www.stepfathersstepson.com and Amazon.com. The book covers subjects such as: adultery, family, relationships, and parenting. The book is written primarily for the first family and the children of the parents of the first family.

Jacob’s heirs

“Now Israel (Jacob) loved Joseph more than all of his children, because he was the son of his old age: and he made him a coat of many colors.” (Genesis 37:3)

Not only was Joseph the “son of his old age”, Joseph was also his wife’s firstborn child. Joseph is very special on Jacob’s family tree. And even though Joseph’s half-brothers had dumped him into a pit and were responsible for him being sold and taken to Egypt, Jacob still loved his firstborn son with his first wife. “And now thy two sons, Ephraim and Manaseh, which were born unto thee in the land of Egypt before I came unto thee into Egypt, are mine: as Reuben and Simeon, they shall be mine. And thy issue, which thou begettest after them shall be thine, and shall be called after the name of their brethren in their inheritance.” (Genesis 48:5-6)

There are many men that father children that they will never call “son” or “daughter” because they left the family for another woman. They will refuse to claim their own children. I don’t think that God is very forgiving of this type of irresponsible behavior. Every child has a father and every child has a mother. Where are you?

“Moreover, I have given to thee one portion above thy brethren…” (Genesis 48:22) Jacob gave Joseph twice the amount of his other brothers. Jacob was a noble man. I wish that more of our men could be like Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Our world would be a better place. We would have a bunch of sons of God walking around instead of men.

Abraham’s heir

The children of the first family are very important in God’s family plan. They are the cornerstones that tie a family together. They are the children of the wife and husband of the first family.

Abraham’s son with Hagar was fourteen years older than Isaac, Abraham’s son with Sarah, and yet Isaac was Abraham’s heir. “And God said, Sarah thy wife shall bear thee a son indeed, and thou shalt call his name Isaac: and I will establish my covenant with him for an everlasting covenant, and with his seed after him.” (Genesis 17:19)

Before Sarah and Abraham sent Hagar and Ishmael away from their family for the second time, we are told, “And God said unto Abraham, Let it not be grievous in thy sight because of the lad, and because of thy bondwoman, in all that Sarah hath said unto thee, hearken unto her voice, for in Isaac shall thy seed be called.” (Genesis 21:12)

“And Abraham gave all that he had unto Isaac.” (Genesis 25:5)

“And his sons Isaac and Ishmael buried him (Abraham) in the cave of Machpelah…” (Genesis 25:9)

Men commit iniquity by placing their children from their second family first by moving in with their second wife. These selfish children of the second family will find it very difficult to share with the children of the first family. But as you can see, in God’s plan, it can work – but only when the children of the first family are the heirs. It is through the first family that the whole family is blessed. When the second families are primary heirs, they remain separate families within the broken family. Most people will never know that the children of the first family exist. They will think of the second family as the “Family”, but it is not true. This is the opposite of God’s plan for his family. Save the first family!

Who are our heirs?

Our children are our heirs, but most importantly, our children of our first family are our primary heirs. Things get complicated when we divorce and remarry. Many men and women will replace their children, who are their natural heirs, with a step-mother and a step-father. When this happens, the children of the first family become secondary heirs. This can work, provided that the child’s parent survives or outlives the step-parent. But if the parent dies first, the step-parent becomes their heir because of the way that many wills are drawn up. When this happens, many step-parents will divert all of the parent’s property to their own children while eliminating the children of their spouse’s first family as heirs.

There are many parents that will eliminate their own natural heirs by simply not mentioning their children from the first family in their wills. In order to solidify the second marriage, many will say, “I give everything to our children”. Of course the most important words before this are that the step-parent is their spouse. And so everything stays with the second family while eliminating the first family. How many of our men have abandoned their own sons in order to give everything to another woman and her children? How many women have abandoned their children in order to give everything to another man? My guess is that many have made this dreadful decision. Save the first family!

Jacob’s second wife

Leah did not give up in her quest to get Jacob. (Genesis 29:32-34) Even after tricking him on his “wedding day”, she still continued to complain. After giving birth to Reuben, her firstborn son that she named, she said, “Surely the Lord hath looked upon my affliction, now therefore my husband will love me.”   Then after giving birth to her second son, she said, “Because the Lord hath heard that I was hated, he hath therefore given me this son also…” Again, with the birth of her third son, she said, “Now this time will my husband be joined unto me.” She gave birth to one more son and decided to stop bearing children for a while…until…Reuben, her firstborn son found mandrakes growing in the field, which were believed to cure fertility problems, and brought them to his mother, Leah. Rachel said unto Leah, “Give me, I pray thee, of thy son’s mandrakes. And she (Leah) said unto her,  Is it a small matter that though hast taken my husband? and wouldest thou take away my son’s mandrakes also? And Rachel said, Therefore he shall lie with thee to night for thy son’s mandrakes. And Jacob came out of the field in the evening, and Leah went out to meet him, and said Thou must come in unto me, for surely I have hired thee with my son’s mandrakes. And he lay with her that night.” (Genesis 30:14-16)

It is obvious in closely examining Abraham and Jacob’s second families, that it is best for a man to have only one wife and definitely not his second wife exclusively. Jacob had planned for it to be that way. If Jacob had given Leah what she wanted, Jacob would have had to eliminate Rachel. Jacob was a wise man because he never let it happen. He did not let his family be broken.

Jesus said in Matthew 5:28 (This is written out of love for our husband’s and fathers), “But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.” Adultery is extremely damaging to our families. Save the first family!

 

Are you a doer of iniquity?

Iniquity means to err or to make crooked or to bend. Adulterers bend and alter their families when they move in and live with another person and abandon their first families for another man or another woman. When this action occurs, they are committing a violation of their duties and responsibilities to God’s family. This is when we have a woman without a husband, a man without a wife, and children without a father. This act is inexcusable and will be severely punished!

Jesus said:

“Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.” (Mark 10:11-12)

“The Son of man shall send forth his angels, and they shall gather out of his kingdom all things that offend, and them which do iniquity. And shall cast them into a furnace of fire, there shall be wailing and gnashing of teeth.” (Matthew 13:41-42)

“Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.” (Luke 16:18)